Peach the Punk Princess
by C. Mechayoshi
Summary: What if Peach was Punk? How would her friends and family react? Loosely inspired by Super Mario Bros Comic: Magic Carpet Maddness. Previous genres: Humor
1. Chapter 1

**Peach the Punk Princess**

 **By: C. Mechayoshi**

 **Completed: 5/26/17**

 **Summary: What if Peach was Punk? How would her friends and family react? Loosely inspired by Super Mario Bros Comic: Magic Carpet Maddness.**

 **Disclaimer: Mario and co belong to Nintendo. Song lyrics by me.**

 **Author note: Just a weird idea I had. Not technically AU, but I did want to subvert expectations. You wouldn't expect this from Peach right?**

* * *

It was a Friday in the Mushroom Kingdom with little going on. Peach was on her bed reading a book about the democratic relations in the Beanbean Kingdom while the radio blasted. Reading was the princess's favorite hobby, aside from music. Her father, the Mushroom King being not much of a reader, she was responsible for the castle's massive library and music collection. Being a lyricist would be Peach's career if she wasn't a Princess. She'd even learned to play electric guitar to her father's dismay. After an hour there was a light rap on the door. Then a louder one. Then someone was practically banging on it.

"Oh tee hee! Come in!" Peach said, cutting down the Ramones Brothers song.

In came a Toad servant, with a weary face. Peach always wondered why they looked like that upon entering her room. "Umm, dinner is ready, my princess."

Peach put her book down and sat up a bit. "Thank you dear. Tell daddy I'll be right down."

The servant nodded and quickly retreated. "Dinner already?" Peach thought. She threw on her denim jean vest, decorated with several patches from local punk bands, namely Rancid Mushroom, Koopa Misfits, Green Star Day, Bad Bandits, Boo Circle Jerks, and a favorite, Bowser Flag. It went well with her black Ramones Brothers emblem shirt and busted up blue jeans. She also wore giant pink triangle earrings and had her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. For shoes she was keeping on her pink slippers. Why? It's was her house after all. For makeup she went with a smoky eyeshadow. Lastly, she'd wear her crown too. She was a punk, but being royalty still came first.

After her uneventful descent downstairs to the dining room, Peach was greeted to a lovely evening meal. She was used to their massive table, but it looked even bigger with only ten or so guests at it. Peach's eyes lit up when she saw that Daisy had been invited as well, and her stomach growled at the smell. Already on the tables was the finest Shroom Steak, served on golden platters with garden fresh salad to the side. The King, Mario, Luigi, Daisy, Toadette, and Toadsworth, along with some honorary guards like Buckenberry and Alagold looked to her expectantly as she approached the table. Out of royal adequate, no one had touched their meals while waiting.

"Glad you made it dear," the king said exhaustedly. "I guess the servant I sent failed to mention that the Marios were here."

Or Daisy, Peach thought, but that was typical. Most servants seemed to not be able to stand her room or her music for more than a second so their messages tended to omit things.

"It's okay, daddy. So you like my outfit?" Peach asked, wishing to change the subject. She spun around to show it off before taking a seat next to her father. Mario, who was next to her on the other side, smiled sweetly. He'd always be a dear to her, even if they didn't see eye to eye life style wise. Everyone else was too captivated by their five star meal and had started to eat the moment Peach sat down.

Daisy clacked her fork on the plate. "Chow down time!" She took huge bites of her food. The King gave her a questionable look but let it go, as he quietly began to eat. Everyone else followed but Peach. She wasn't hungry anymore, so out of nervous habit, she found herself doodling some lyrics on a napkin.

" _Fighting against meal time normalcy_

 _Wishing for steam fried anarchy_

 _Shroom shake, birthday cake_

 _Don't make dinner a headache!"_

Peach balled up that napkin, dissatisfied, when she felt eyes on her. Peach glanced towards Daisy.

"So, what have you been up to?" Daisy asked.

Peach played around with her food. "Oh, nothing...What about you, Mario?"

Mario shrugged. "Just routine plumbing stuff. Bowser's sure been quiet lately, eh? Hey Weegee. What about you?" Mario asked, trying to draw him out.

Luigi pushed his plate away, having only nibbled his food. "Uh..."

"Tell the princess about your new writing project!" Mario said, nudging him. This caught Peach's attention.

Luigi shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "I'm writing...Super Luigi Vol 12..."

"And I'm sure it's good too," Daisy added with a wink. Luigi blushed.

"Ah hem!" Toadsworth announced. "I believe dessert will be coming soon. May I whistle for it your highness?"

The King nodded. "I have a meeting soon. You kids can enjoy dessert and mingle. Besides, I'm on a diet now!" The King and Toadsworth laughed at the 'joke' as they excused themselves from the table.

"Hey guys. The lake- now!" Daisy whispered as soon as the two elders got out of ear range. Mario, Luigi, Peach, Toadette, Buckenberry, and Alagold gave her knowing glances.

"What was Daisy up to?" Peach wondered. The lake near the castle was where her and her friends often hung out for fresh air. If they needed to talk about things that they didn't want echoing though the castle, that was also the place to be. Once the servants carrying the dessert entered the dining room, all of the seats were empty. They didn't mind, more for them!

* * *

 **Meanwhile at Bowser's Castle.**

The guitarist of Bowser Flag smashed his guitar into pieces as the amp feed backed like crazy. They were playing in the open courtyard of Bowser's Castle and the crowd of Bowser's army went wild, a few of them dropping coins into a hat that was laying in front of the microphone. Later the the crowd dispersed and one adolescent approached the tall scary looking singer.

"I love your band!" Junior said, pointing to shirt he was wearing with their logo on it.

"Thanks kid! Say, uh could you mention to King Bowser that we kind of want to go home? I know we're called 'Bowser Flag', but we're like, anarchist and stuff and we don't typically play in the same place over and over...for little to no pay... Could ya just mention it?" The singer asked, progressively lowering his voice as he saw Bowser approaching from the other end of the courtyard.

"Why did you stop?!" Bowser bellowed once he got to them.

"Because that's the end of our catalog?" the bassist answered, annoyed.

"Yeah," the drummer added, "we've played all of our hits except for the ones we wrote for the new album coming out-"

"SHHHHHHH!" the singer, guitarist, and bassist said at once.

Bowser smirked satisfactorily. "I knew you losers had more music to play. Oh, and for a band called 'Bowser Flag' you sure don't have many songs about how great I am. You should do that. In fact, since my son is such a fan of y'all- come here!" Junior ran up to his father. "Why don't you let Junior play with y'all? Would you like that, son?"

"Yesss!" Junior exclaimed, jumping up and down. Everyone in the band groaned simultaneously.

"King Bowser sir," the bassist started, "can he even play an instrument?"

Bowser crossed his arms and shot her a nasty look. "WELL OF COURSE HE CAN! Do you think Junior is talentless?! Show this dumb lady what you can do!" Bowser pointed to Junior. Junior pulled out a triangle and banged on it furiously, making everyone have to cover their ears.

"Okay okay! He can play with us!" the singer shouted. "Just stop!"

"Yay!" Junior cheered. He walked on stage and as he passed the hat, he picked it up. "Ooh, can I earn money too?"

"You sure can, son!" Bowser said. "Now, play!" Everyone except the guitarist reluctantly got back into position. "What's your deal?" Bowser asked indignantly.

The guitarist looked around guiltily. "I kind of smashed it up?"

Bowser shrugged. "That all? Here, you can borrow one of the greatest instruments ever from me. Another triangle!" Bowser tossed it to him, hitting him in the face, and then pulled out a radio. "Attention! Another concert in the castle courtyard featuring your Prince on the triangle. Attendance mandatory or it's the dungeon! Ha ha!" Immediately, Bowser's guards and castle workers poured in as if their life depended on it.

"This is the worst gig ever," the singer whispered to the bassist. She looked back annoyingly. It was his idea to play at Bowser's Castle in the first place.

"Say," Bowser mused, "who else would like a punk concert?...Oh yeah, that punk Princess Peach! I should do something bout that!"

* * *

Peach and friends were just hanging around the lake shore, enjoying the sunset. Peach and Daisy were at a small distance from the rest.

"Why didn't you mention one, two, three, four, five- you get the point, " Toadette asked Luigi.

"You've read them?" Luigi said with a baffled expression. "It said on Amazon that there was only one buyer!"

Toadette looked away, "Actually..."

Buckenberry stepped in between them. "It was me. Yep, uh huh. It's not that the were good or anything but I'm obsessed with Mario and you're his brother so logically I have to love you as well. If only he wasn't so obsessed with Peach.."

Toadette slapped Buckenberry. "You realize she's standing right over there?!"

Buckenberry rubbed the area she hit. "Well, her and Daisy are too busy with each other. I think she'll survive."

 **Meanwhile**...

"So when are we going to try to make it? I might not be able to sneak out for all of next week!" Daisy said to Peach. Off from the rest, they sat in the sand.

Peach buttoned up her vest as she got a chill. "What about tonight? I think Bowser Flag was supposed to play, but the location..."

"Where?" Daisy asked eagerly.

"It's at Bowser's Castle," Peach whispered.

"That all? I can't say I've ever snuck there, but I do go to all of my concerts incognito. Dance, pop, country, raves, it can't be any harder there. I say we do it!"

Peach gaped. "Tonight?!" She exclaimed louder than she meant.

"Yeah, why not? Your dad is gonna be in a meeting and I can just say that I spent the night at your place or something. Live a little!"

Peach looked to the ground. "I don't know..."

"Seriously girl?" Daisy teased. "Is your hip punk outfit just a costume? Or are you a girl who wants to have fun? Remember how the song goes?"

Peach smiled. Daisy wasn't really a punk, she just liked high energy music and punk often fit the bill. She needed to get her references right though. "The song you're referencing isn't even a punk song, but I guess you're right. Wow, this is gonna be weird. Should we tell the others?" Peach glanced towards the rest.

"Nah," Daisy said, pointing to them with her thumb. "Tell them it's a girls night out."

"But Toadette is a girl..."

"Then let's bring her. She had told me she was curious anyway. Oh yeah, this is rockin! Hey Toadette!" Daisy suddenly called.

Toadette excused herself from the rest. "Yes, princess?"

"Wanna join us for a concert?" Daisy asked slyly. Peach stood by with a nervous expression.

Toadette's face lit up. "Oh, okay. Sounds fun. You mean tonight, though?"

Peach nodded.

"Eh, sure. I mean, live a little, right?" Toadette and Daisy gave each other a high five. Peach was still nervous, but kind of excited. How would she plan this out and not get caught? Her father was already iffy on her choice of music. If he found out that she went on Bowser territory to see a band, well...she'd be in hot water for sure. She pulled out her phone and typed some lyrics she suddenly came up with.

" _Living on the run_

 _Will they accept me?_

 _I just want to have some fun_

 _Liven up, and join maybe"_

Soon the girls rejoined the boys.

"Done with your girl talk?" Buckenberry asked. Toadette slapped him again.

"We're going to spend the rest of the night on a girls night out. You boys are free to go back to the castle and hang or eat, I'm sure daddy wont mind," Peach said innocently.

"Fine by me, right?" Mario said, looking to the rest. Something in his eyes told Peach that he knew more than he was saying.

"Am I going to get a line?" Alagold asked.

"No," everyone answered. Alagold shrugged in his usual indifference.

 **To be continued.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Peach the Punk Princess**

 **Chapter 2**

 **Finished: 6/6/17**

 **Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo.**

* * *

While Peach was hanging by the door, Daisy dug through Peach's drawers, flinging clothes everywhere in her room. Toadette was on her knees nearby, excitingly examining and prodding through the shirts, tank tops, and pullovers as they fell. After a while, she spotted a blue pullover with 'Boo Circle Jerks' written on it. She grabbed it, and after a quick check to make sure it'd fit, she held it up triumphantly.

"I found it! I gotta wear this!"

Peach nervously peeked through her slightly opened door. "Guys?"

Daisy stood up. "What? It's go time, sistas!" She picked up Peach's Sneaky parasol and opened a window.

Peach gasped. "Daisy?! I don't think we need to go that far!"

"Shh! And yeah we do, with our 'knights in shining armor' roaming around. Put your sign on the door and hurry!"

Peach grabbed the golden sign off of her vanity table. It read in a rich looking font, " _Princess's Quarters. Do not disturb_!" She briskly hung it outside her door and closed it shut.

"Yay! Let's go!" Toadette exclaimed. Her pullover was baggy, the sleeves too long, and it went past her knees.

Peach giggled. "That looks like a dress on you!"

"You mean this isn't a dress?"

"Girls, come on!" Daisy called from the window. Peach and Toadette followed her down the emergency ladder that went from Peach's room on the top floor to the back castle courtyard. Even in the darkness, Peach and Daisy were relatively comfortable with decent, but Toadette had shaky hands. Halfway down Toadette stepped on her pullover by accident and lost her grip.

"Ahhhh!" she shrieked.

"Got you!" Daisy caught Toadette in one arm, but she had to drop the Sneaky Parasol to do it.

"Thank you so much D-"

"What was that?!" A voice called from below.

The Toad taking out the garbage was beside the bushes when the parasol dropped into it. He looked around suspiciously.

"Now, what?" Peach whispered. "Should we climb back up?"

Daisy shook her head. "Never accept defeat!"

Toadette, who was still in Daisy's arms, pointed below. "He's going away."

"Good." Daisy slid down rapidly and landed in a few seconds, leaving Peach to climb down the old safe way.

Daisy checked her phone. "It's already nine?"

Toadette checked hers to confirm. "Well it's a good thing punks don't have a bedtime, right?"

"Here I come, guys." Peach reached the ground. "Oh no, my parasol!" Peach picked up the dainty light blue colored umbrella to reveal dirt, twigs, and with a hole or two in it from the fall.

Daisy looked guilty. "I'm sorry, Peach. It was that, or me, or Toadette and me, or..."

"-Yeah, I'm not mad about that how it looks. I just hope it still works," Peach said, opening it up.

"Wait, I hear something!" Toadette said.

"Everybody duck!" Daisy, Peach and Toadette ducked in the bushes.

"...Yeah, that Toad said something about how he wanted us to look around back here because he hear noises," Mario said, coming from the back door of the castle with Alagold and Luigi.

"Well, any Toad that isn't me or Buckenberry does get scared easily," Alagold replied, "It's probably nothing, or a boo..."

Luigi jumped. "A Boo?!"

"Yeah, we have those in our back yard for some reason. Why?"

Mario shot Alagold a vexing look. "You know that's a problem for Luigi.."

Alagold smiled. "Ooooh, so that's why he wasn't in Mario 64?"

"No!" Mario and Luigi both said offendedly.

They stopped near the center water fountain. After a quick and fruitless scan of the courtyard, Mario's eyes rested on the ladder from Peach's room.

"Hey, guys? Do we always leave that ladder there?"

Luigi glanced at it. "Hmm. It's been there lately, I know that much. Why, bro?"

"Well, ladders work both ways. Anyone could just climb that to Peach's room. What if Bowser climbed that?"

Luigi suppressed a laugh. "I don't think Bowser could climb that, bro!"

Mario nudged him playfully. "Okay, whatever. You know what I meant. We still need to move it." Mario approached the ladder.

"Oh no!" Toadette whispered as they heard Mario rapidly approaching.

"I got this," Peach said. She set the Sneaky Parasol to "Toad" and hopped out of the bushes.

"Whoa!" Mario and the rest gasped.

"Oh, I just had the most terrible dizzy spell and I must have fell out! How do you do?" Peach asked. Mario, Luigi, and Alagold rushed to Peach.

"Your highness! How long were you in those bushes!?" Mario asked in a panic.

"Your highness?!" Peach looked at herself. She didn't disguise as a Toad, she was her father, the Mushroom King himself!

"Umm. Did I say that? I meant...I found a quarter!" Peach said as absentmindedly as she could.

Mario and the rest calmed down and gave the 'King' space.

"Well, that's our King!" Luigi jest.

"Why don't we get you back inside?" Mario asked, reaching for the 'King's' hand.

"Oh no," Peach thought, "I can't let them lead me inside, and to my real daddy! I hope this works..."

Peach reached her arms out in despair. "I will gladly follow you boys inside, but I hope those Boos that are near our DAISY don't come back!"

"E-excuse me, your highness?" Luigi stammered.

"If only our DAISY would HELP with these BOOS!"

"Your highness, we don't have daisies planted anywhere near here. I would know, I'm on the gardening committee. Are you sure you're okay?" Alagold asked.

"BOOOO!" someone bellowed.

Luigi screamed and ran around to the side of the castle.

"LUIGI?" Mario called after him. He ran around to follow his brother.

Alagold looked from the 'King' to the side and then back to the 'King'. "Uh, I'd better follow them.."

When the sound of their footsteps were gone, Peach dropped the disguise. "Thank-you Daisy."

"Don't mention it," Daisy said, hopping out of the bush. "I'm sorry again for damaging your fancy umbrella though!"

Peach examined it again. "Oh dear. Do you think can still use it?"

"I'll have too. Let's scram before they return!" Daisy said, motioning towards the other side of the castle. Peach and Toadette followed and soon they'd made it away from Castle grounds.

* * *

 **Meanwhile at Bowser's Castle.**

A Boo, Dark Boo, Big Boo, Blindfold Boo, and Red Boo showed up at the entrance of Bowser Castle with their instruments in tow. They waited for fifteen minutes before Bowser himself came to open the heavy iron gates.

"Sorry bout that, Jerk Circles," Bowser apologized.

"It's Boo Circle Jerks," Dark Boo corrected, "We would have just went through the gates anyway, but we wanted to talk to you to be sure about our pay. You WILL give us a thousand coins each for one concert, right?"

Bowser laughed dismissively. "Uh, yeah, whatever. Just come in and play in my courtyard, I got somewhere to be. Well, what are you waiting for?!"

The Boos looked at each other and entered. After floating down a stony corridor for a moment, Ludwig Von Koopa ambushed them. He was wearing a black tuxedo and had a thick book under his arm.

"Who are you?!" Big Boo asked.

"Kneel before Ludwig Von Koopa! I will be your band leader-"

"Band leader?!" everyone gasped.

"Yes. All respectable bands have a band leader while on a gig. You are a respectable band, correct? Or at least more respectable than that previous one, Bowser Flag..."

"Bowser Flag was here?" Dark Boo huffed. "We hate them! Where are they now?"

Ludwig smiled mischievously. "They are still here. King Dad thought it wise to include Junior while I was absent and the result was just as horrible as you are imagining. Do not worry, under my leadership we will be better than they ever were. Follow me!"

Ludwig lead them down to his personal music room. This was a fancier practice space than the members of the band had ever seen. Exquisite instruments of every sort lined the walls and in the middle of the space was a grand piano.

"Let us get a few things straight," Ludwig said while everyone gaped, "I know how familiar you all are with _Vivaldi'_ _s_ _'La primavera_ ' but let's bust out something unexpected, such as ' _Il Mopso'_ -"

"What?!" The Boos gasped for the hundredth time.

Ludwig eyed them suspiciously. "You are a neo-classical band, correct?"

"No," Red Boo explained, "We're Boo Circle Jerks, the punk band and we stick it to the man! Well, mostly Mario, but anyone one that gets in our way, really."

Ludwig dropped his book in surprise. "You mean that you did not respond to my ad?!" Ludwig pointed to a poster on the nearby wall.

It read: " _Wanted: classical musicians,_ _c_ _apable o_ _f_ _reading music and familiar with all of the most popular composition_ _s_ _of_ _the past._ _Will be paid modestly._ _Serious_ _bands_ _only!_ _Call 555-BOWSER._ _"_

The Boos glanced at it and cackled among themselves for a moment.

"Mr. Ludwig, we came here because of this, hehe." Dark Boo pulled out a flier.

It read: " _Wanted:_ _a_ _nyone that can bang on an instrument. Reward: One thousand coins per player in the band._ _Totally not a scam._ _Anything goes. Non_ _stuck-up_ _bands only!_ _Call 555-BOWSER_ _"_

Ludwig pouted. "That explains why only the trashy talentless punk bands have been asking to come here. I've been turning them all down over the phone, but Bowser Flag surprised us by coming here on their own-"

"Ludwig Von Koopa!?" Bowser growled from the entrance.

"K-king Dad?"

"So you've been sending them away, have you?!" Bowser turned to the Boo Circle Jerks. "Get to the courtyard, you're up! What are you waiting for? Get up there!"

The Boos left confusingly, while Bowser crossed his arms. "Listen. I'm gonna get Peach over here for a concert, and she's gonna be listen to PUNK, not your kind of music, got it?"

Ludwig nodded as Bowser left. Once Bowser was gone Ludwig narrowed his eyes.

"We will see about that, father…"

* * *

 **Meanwhile** ….

Peach, Daisy and Toadette were riding the bus that lead from the Mushroom Kingdom to Dark Land. Along the way, Peach had picked up a pink Masquerade mask while Daisy was disguised as a koopa troopa. Toadette was herself, aside from the baggy pullover.

"Security stop!" The bus driver announced. A Hammer bro wearing a shirt that said "security" got on the bus.

"Bowser has security stops for his kingdom? This is new.." Peach whispered to Daisy and Toadette.

"Relax," Daisy told her. "They probably just want to make sure we aren't plumbers."

Peach wrote some lyrics on her phone to calm herself.

" _Want to have a party with my friends_

 _Will our difficulties ever end?_

 _Close calls will be our downfall_

 _Grounded or not, we gonna have a ball!"_

"No, these still suck," Peach mused out loud.

"What's going on here?" The Hammer bro asked. He had reached their seats in the back of the bus.

"Umm, I'm just escorting these guys," Daisy spoke up. "This is uh, Pea..I mean 'Punchella' the rebel teenager that spray painted Bowser's Clown car, and this Toad girl is..."

"Toughette!" Toadette said.

"Yeah. So like, I'm just a soldier for Bowser, doing soldier things!"

Hammer bro raised one eyebrow. "Hmm, so I guessing these guys had ran off to the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"Yes sir!" Daisy answered, hoping he'd go away.

Hammer bro pulled out a radio. "Well I'm gonna have to check your-"

Someone seated up front saw an ad on his phone from Craigslist. (A/N: North American classifieds website if anyone is unfamiliar) "Ooh! Ooh! Bowser pays a thousand coins per band member?! We gotta go to Bowser's Castle now!"

"Keep it down!" the bus driver scolded.

Peach peered ahead. The person speaking was Cosmic Mario, of the punk band, _The Mario Clash_! The three other people near him, all dressed like Mario, agreed and soon the whole bus was in a buzz over the news.

"What's the hold up?" the bus driver called back, now wanting to get to his destination as soon as possible.

The Hammer bro turned away from Peach and the rest. "Nothing. You're clear to go." He stepped off of the bus and the engine roared back to life. Soon they were a just a mile away form Bowser's Castle.

"The Mario Clash heading to Bowser's place? This is gonna be a concert, for sure!" Daisy said, leaning back in her seat.

"I love them! They play Mushroom Rock as well!" Toadette said excitingly. "Hey, why don't we use our new names? I'll be Toughette-"

"Toughette? I like the sound of that!" Cosmic Mario interrupted. He was standing in the middle aisle to check out the girls. "Hey ladies, I heard you gushing over us!"

"Cosmic Mario?!" Peach gasped. She was conflicted, this was a villain of Mario, but he was also the singer of a band she loved. An autograph or something, wouldn't hurt. She was Punchella now, not Peach, she reasoned. "Mr. Cosmic Mario, can I umm- get an autograph?"

Cosmic Mario smirked. "Babe, I can do more than that! How about a front row experience, I mean, if that's okay with this soldier right here."

Daisy pointed to herself. "Oh, me? Sure thing! I'd like to be there too!"

"Front row seats for you all then!" The other three band members cheered. One was a goomba, the other another koopa, and the last one a yoshi. All wore ill fitting Mario costumes for the sake of mocking the titular hero.

"See? It'll all work out," Daisy whispered to Peach.

Peach nodded. Things did seem to be going well. Too well..

* * *

 **Meanwhile back at Peach's Castle.**

"La la la, walking down the halls…" Buckenberry sang to himself. All of a sudden Luigi burst through the doors and stopped, breathing deeply.

"What the-?!"

"Luigi!" Mario called, following him. Alagold stepped in as well.

"Oh, you found a Boo in the backyard again?" Buckenberry asked.

"Kind of..." Mario answered. "Well, that was pointless. I guess me and Luigi will be heading home, but first we want some leftovers!"

Alagold and Buckenberry rolled their eyes. Mario's idea of leftovers was five plates of food.

 **BOOM!**

Bowser burst through the front room with his Koopa Clown Car. Dust filled the front room and Toads were instantly alerted to the crash.

"Give me your Punk Princess!" Bowser announced.

"Never!" Mario shouted back!

 **To be continued.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Peach the Punk Princess**

 **Chapter 3**

 **Created:** **6/11/17 edited 6/13**

 **Disclaimer: Mario and co belong to Nintendo.**

* * *

The members of the Boo Circle Jerks entered Bowser's Castle courtyard to hundreds of Bowser's soldiers, all waiting for a concert. Among them in the front row was the members of Bowser Flag and Junior, who had been booed off stage just moments ago. The crowd instantly cheered as the five Boos jumped on stage, instruments in tow.

"Wow! This really is one of our biggest gigs!" Red Boo remarked, tapping a few times on the microphone that was provided. The stage was a wooden platform about two feet off the ground. There were no seats for the audience, everyone stood, and the human members of Bowser Flag were practically standing at the edge of the stage. The Red Boo's eyes caught sight of them.

"I see even those Bowser Flag losers will have to watch!"

"I heard that!" the spicy bassist of Bowser Flag shouted from the front row, with her arms crossed and wearing a "I love Bowser" embroidered cap against her will.

"Yeah! Don't play into their game, they're gonna kidnap you!" the singer called. Someone had forced him to wear a "I 3 Koopa Troop" shirt.

"Don't listen to these losers!" Red Boo assured his band mates. Everyone was hooked into the PA system with they instruments. "Let's hit it! 1 and a 2 and a 1,2,3,4!"

The Boo Circle Jerks, consisting of Red Boo the singer, Big Boo the drummer, Blindfold Boo the bassist, Boo the guitarist, and Dark Boo who stood off to the side of the stage because he was just the band manager, caused a ruckus with their music like Bowser Flag had before. Junior jumped up and down in excitement and ripped off his Bowser Flag logo shirt in traitorous fashion.

"Boo Circle Jerks are way better!" Junior screamed over the ear damaging loudness.

"But we've been touring before them. THEY copied us!" the drummer complained. No one had forced him to wear any Bowser propaganda, mostly because he was a 6'3 hairy dude that even the Koopas were afraid of.

Suddenly in the middle of their third song, "64'd (Good as Gameover)" the power cut on the stage, making the instruments and mic go silent.

"What is wrong?!" Junior screamed. The crowd of Bowser's army instantly got restless.

"Ha, looks like your concert got cut!" Bowser Flag's bassist teased.

Red Boo threw the mic down. "WHO CUT OUR POWER?!"

* * *

Mario shot fireballs at Bowser's Clown Car to little effect. Bowser was in the middle of the front room, hovering in place while he dropped explosive Mecha Koopas on the ground to wander and destroy expensive interior of Peach's Castle. Luigi, Alagold, and Buckenberry were handling the Mecha Koopas while Mario went for Bowser.

"Take this!" Buckenberry said as he threw a Super Leaf to Mario who was passing him.

"Thanks, Cool Blue!" Mario transformed into Tanooki Mario and hopped from the top mezzanine to the top of Bowser's Car.

Bowser gasped at the sight of Mario standing on the rim of the Clown Car, then swiped at him with his claws. Mario spun around quickly and whacked Bowser in the face with his furry tail. Bowser then did something unexpected. He pressed the eject button, which shot Bowser out of the Clown Car and left Mario in it only for it to crash to the floor, badly scratching up the beautiful mosaic sun pattern that was in the tiles.

"Get him!" Mario shouted as he tried to free himself from the rubble.

Alagold and Buckenberry were still handling Mecha Koopas, but Luigi was free enough to see Bowser sprint pass him into the interior of the castle. The green plumber followed, impressed by Bowser's sudden athleticism, as they went up the stairs and through hallways, scaring to death any Toad whose path they crossed. They reached an important room, the Kings chambers where he held meetings. Luigi was sure Bowser might try to stop there to threaten the king somehow but he ran right pass. Just then the door opened to reveal the King and Toadsworth. They caught of glimpse of the chase and set off alarms.

Meanwhile, Bowser was trudging through the final staircase to Peach's room and finally showing signs of slowing down. Luigi used this opportunity to tackle Bowser and they both fell on to the stairs.

"Lay off, Green! I want to take your Princess somewhere fun!" Bowser's exhausted voice muffled from being face down.

Luigi held Bowser's arms tightly from behind. "I don't think so, Koopa! Never took you for a sprinter, but it's a good thing you seem to be only a 100 meter!"

The King ran up behind Luigi. "Is my darling alright?!" he asked frantically.

"Of course your highness," Mario answered, coming up with him. He held Bowser's other arm so that each brother could hold one each and assure Bowser couldn't get up. "The Princess is safe in her room!"

The King sighed a breath of relief and casually squeezed pass the Mario bros and Bowser to reach the top of the steps. "My daughter will not believe the antics that have just went on when-" The King stood before her room in shock after he swung the door wide open.

"What's up your highness?" Mario asked.

"SHE'S GONE!" the King cried.

"WHAT?!" Mario, Luigi, and Bowser replied.

Mario and Luigi let go of Bowser to rush to the room. The went inside and searched through the piles of clothes that were laying everywhere. Bowser even joined in, looking through the drawers that were still open and peeking into the closet. Finally, Mario noticed the window.

"Guys, that window!" Mario looked out of it. "And this ladder leads right to it. I knew this ladder didn't seem right before!"

"Do you think someone took her? Weren't Daisy and Toadette with her on a girls night out?" Luigi asked. Unbeknownst to them, Bowser was observing something left on Peach's vanity.

Mario shook his head. "They wouldn't have left without telling someone, and they certainly wouldn't have left the room torn up like this!"

"Where could she be, then?" the King asked. "I've been in my meeting since after dinner!" Mario and Luigi looked at him curiously.

"But we saw you out in the back courtyard," Mario said.

"What? Am I losing my mind? Did Peach leave or was she taken?!" The King was about to rip his hair out in stress.

Bowser suddenly turned to everyone, putting them on edge. "Someone had to have taken MY Peach, and it wasn't me! She would never leave this!" Bowser revealed something in his hand, _her crown_!

* * *

The bus stopped in front of Bowser's Castle. A ragtag group of people, mostly workers for Bowser or Dark Land residents exited, including Peach, Toadette, and Daisy, along with the members of Mario Clash.

"So babe, anyone willing to destroy someone's valuable property is alright with me," Cosmic Mario spoke softly, making Peach blush. She and he stood close while the Yoshi and Goomba members were on each side of Toadette, now "Toughette". The koopa member was trialing behind with Peach's and Toadette's "guard" Daisy, who was disguised as a Koopa. The Koopa attempted to chat up Daisy and she played along to the best of her ability as the seven made their way to the gates of Bowser's Castle.

Cosmic Mario strode up to the intercom in his usual confident way and buzzed the buzzer. They waited for a while, growing impatient.

"Think anyone's home?" Peach asked before realizing that was a stupid question.

Cosmic Mario smiled affectionately at Peach. "Of course. The Koopa brats, no offense soldier, must be on lunch break or something. How do you usually get in?" he asked, turning his attention to Daisy.

"Uh, er, well..." Daisy stammered. She was hoping this very situation wouldn't happen. She wordlessly approached the buzzer, with no better idea than to try it herself. When they didn't answer for her, she figured, she could make up an excuse about the system being down and-

"Hello?" a Koopa receptionist answered. "Identification?"

Daisy cursed in her mind. "Oh, hey! It's me... You know, the soldier with those two prisoners, and uh, some extra entertainment?"

"Oh yeah, you. I'll send someone to open the gates. All hail the Koopa Troop!"

"Right, what you just said. Thanks!" Daisy could feel a drop of sweat falling off of her forehead. The koopa band member surprised her by patting her on the back suddenly.

"Good job, buddy!" he told her. The Yoshi and Goomba agreed.

Cosmic Mario put his arm around Peach and lead her closer to the door. "You know hon, you have the most _beautiful_ blond hair!"

Peach blushed again. Cosmic Mario couldn't see her face completely with the mask she wore, but she was glad he noticed her well cared for hair. She was proud of the way she had it weightlessly flowed, either straight down or in a ponytail like it was now, only to be complemented with her very special golden crown...

...Which wasn't on her head.

Peach gasped at the realization, catching Toadette and Daisy's attention.

"What's wrong, girl?" Daisy asked, forgetting to be in character.

"My crow- I mean...I have to pee!" Peach said, winking.

Daisy and Toadette glanced at each other surprisingly, but before anyone could react farther, the heavy iron gates slow rose to reveal Ludwig von Koopa. He appeared sweaty and agitated, with a black wrinkled tuxedo, messy hair, and red eyes. He looked like he'd been in the middle of a mosh pit.

"What," Ludwig said groggily, cleaning out one ear.

They were silent for a while before Daisy realized that she was supposed to speak up. "Oh, I'm sending these prisoners, uh..." Daisy paused for a while, forgetting the nicknames they'd came up with already. "Anyway these two punks and also I have this band here-"

"The Mario Clash!" Cosmic Mario spoke up, even courageously shaking Ludwig's sweaty hand.

Ludwig was too tired to jerk it away. "Oh one of _those_ again...What genre? Metal? Noisecore? _Punk_?"

Cosmic Mario chuckled. "Mostly punk, I'm sad to say for you, but we have a few tricks up our sleeves, don't we boys?" His band nodded and Peach and the rest looked on, wondering what was going on. "You see, we're the best band ever, because we can be any genre!"

Ludwig blinked a few times. "Really now? Explain yourself!"

"It's a secret!" Cosmic Mario said teasingly. "Let's just say, we're that good! So let us play, and let these prisoners here have a little fun before its one hundred year dungeon sentence time, okay?"

Ludwig smiled, oddly charmed by his words. "Good. We had another dreadful punk band playing but I cut the PA to end the torment. Please don't make me have to do that for you." Ludwig stepped aside for them to enter.

Cosmic Mario and his band mates eagerly stepped inside while Peach, Daisy, and Toadette lingered slightly.

"Guys," Peach whispered, "if they see my crown back at home, and the mess we left now that I think about it, they're going to think something happened to us. We're ruined, we need to think of an excuse to get out of here."

"Aww," Toadette moaned. "But we're here already! Can't we see one show?"

Peach let out a deep breath. "What do you think, Daisy?"

Daisy was too busy looking ahead at the Mario Clash band members. "Just one show, girl. Live a little, okay? Besides...that koopa guy is kind of cute..."

"But-" Peach fussed, "let's not get too wrapped up in our disguises, these are enemies!"

Her words fell on deaf ears as the group stopped before some red double doors. Ludwig stood in front of them and beckoned Daisy to him.

"Take your prisoners to the courtyard. Stand in the front so as to keep an eye on them. Understood, private?"

Daisy stood up straight. "Yes sir! Or, hail the koopas! Or something..." She got Peach and Toadette to follow her through the doors before anyone could realize how awkward that was.

Ludwig then turned to Cosmic Mario and his band. "So, you are aware that King Bowser is not here. He is off to kidnap the Princess, and it has been a while."

Cosmic Mario scoffed. "That dumb blonde? He could have just hired me to kidnapper her, I do that too as side work, ya know."

Ludwig looked to him seriously. "Well, if he shows, he is going to want that garbage punk stuff to be playing, so remember that. Also the previous bands are still among the audience because Bowser will not let any band go."

"What?" Cosmic and his group went. They threateningly approached Ludwig who put his arm out to stop them.

"-But!" Ludwig said quickly. "If you could do something for father, I'm sure he'd let you go!"

"Something like what?!"

"I don't know. Destroy Mario maybe?"

Cosmic Mario and the band backed off. "That all? Fine, we'll do that after the concert, maybe even with those cute girls!"

"And that soldier!" the Koopa band member added, reminiscently.

"Er, yeah. I mean, it's only late at night and us punks don't have a bed time, ain't that right?" His band agreed heartily.

Ludwig let go of the door handle he'd been death griping out of nervousness. "Very well, it is a deal!"

 **To be continued...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Peach the Punk Princess**

 **Chapter 4**

 **Completed: 6/25/17**

 **Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo. The respective artists I parody belong to themselves obviously.**

 **Author note: Short update.**

* * *

The Mushroom King watched the Toads shuffle past in tears. They ran out of the castle with arms full of "missing" fliers. Mario laid a comforting arm on his majesty's shoulder.

"Peach WILL come home tonight!"

"And Daisy!" Luigi added.

"And Toadette?" Buckenberry blurted out.

"But mostly Peach," Bowser said. "What? Stop looking at me like that, I told ya I don't know where she is. Why not call her? She is a teen after all.."

"Bowser?! That's... right!" Mario dialed Peach's number on his cell phone.

 **Meanwhile….**

The Mario Clash walked on stage to an eager and rowdy crowd. The members of Boo Circle Jerks and were now standing in the front row after getting booed off stage, right next to the members of Bowser Flag.

Bowser Flag's singer prodded the bassist. "What?!" she groaned.

"They've kidnapped another band. We gotta do something!"

"Like what? Start a riot?...Oh wait…" She rubbed her hands as she thought of an idea. Moments later she was whispering it to the rest of the band members.

Meanwhile Daisy, Peach and Toadette came up in the rear. Once Peach saw the charismatic Cosmic Mario take stage, her heart was melting all over again.

"One, two, screw you!" Cosmic Mario screamed in the mic. He held a beat up seafoam green Stratocaster and wailed on it in the special live intro of their song "Guns of Brooklyn".

"This is my favorite!" Toadette screamed amongst the deafening screams of everyone else. Daisy was jumping and swinging her koopa arms to the rhythm. Because of the movement of the crowd Peach was slowly separated from them and before she knew it, she was standing right in the front row. Not that that was going to complain, she often didn't get front row in most concerts, and she definitely never got this close and personal with...the bassist of Bowser Flag!

"It's you!" Peach gawked at her.

The dark haired human turned her way. "Do I know you?"

Peach covered one ear with her hand so she could hear herself speaking. "I love your band. What are you doing here? Oh, and I see the rest of the band mates..And Boo Circle Jerks?! And Bowser Junior?"

"You'd better get somewhere safe, missy. We're about to tear it up!" the drummer warned.

"Tear it up? But why?" Peach asked.

"Because-" the bassist explained.

Suddenly the Yoshi member of Mario Clash pulled Peach up on stage. "Come on girl, we could use some extra vocals!"

Down below, Daisy pointed on stage. "Look at Peach!"

Toadette giggled. "Glad she's finally having some fun!"

"I know right!" Daisy and Toadette high fived.

Back on stage, Peach mumbled along, nervous being on stage with a punk band..in front of Bowser's soldiers of all people. Then Cosmic Mario pulled her up to his mic and she suddenly remembered all the lyrics to the song and sung loudly with her impressive soprano voice. Male members in the audience hooted and hollered and Peach was enjoying every moment of it until…

"Oops I did it again!" Peach's ringtone blasted.

Everyone went silent. Peach just stood there like a deer in headlights. The Mario Clash stopped playing and the audience stopped and stared. No one had ever dared bring a "capitalist" cell phone to a punk concert, and one playing the trashy popstar, Britney Spearguy at that! Toadette and Daisy immediately made way to the front, sensing something nasty.

Peach slowly pulled the pink colored flip phone from her purse. It was one of most expensive models too, complete with pink gems encrusted in it. "Hello?"

"MY BABY! WHERE ARE YOU?" the King screamed.

Peach's mind went blank. "Uh…"

Mario suddenly got on the line. "Peach, we're gonna rescue you. Just hang on!"

"No no no! You can't- I mean...I'll be home soon!"

"What?" murmuring was heard in the background. "But where are you?"

"I-"

"RIOT!" screamed the members of Bowser Flag and Boo Circle Jerks and Junior (though he had no idea why he was screaming). The audience went crazy at the suggestion, turning into a mosh pit and making so much noise, Peach accidentally hung up the cellphone. The audience now scattered in the large courtyard the concert took place in. This was what happened if you took the same sleep deprived soldiers and forced them to watch three punk bands in a row.

Cosmic Mario turned to Peach with a big smile on his face. "You really are something, Punchella! I've never caused a riot before the first song even finished! Let's bounce. You get your friends too."

"We're right here.." Daisy groaned as she and Toadette climbed on stage. "Pe- I mean, Punchella, why don't I escort you and Toughette to your uh, special prison...which is in the Mushroom Kingdom!"

"Sounds great to me." The Koopa member winked as he pulled Daisy close, his hand brushing against the activation switch for the disguise.

"No wait, don't!" Daisy's disguise changed in a flash. She now looked like Peach, in her traditional pink dress.

"Whoa! Peach was with us all along, disguised as a koopa! Get her!" Cosmic Mario yelled. Daisy made a run for the exit as Cosmic Mario and his band chased her and Peach and Toadette chased them chasing Daisy. Just as Daisy was about to reach the exit, Ludwig jumped in the way.

"Stop! Stop! This is not how it was supposed to work!" Daisy ran right through him, knocking him to the side. She ran straight down the hall and down the steps leading to Bowser's front entrance gate, however she slipped and fell, changing her disguise again.

Cosmic Mario, his band, and Peach and Toadette rounded the corner to see Bowser in the hallway.

"Bowser?!" everyone gasped.

Daisy got up. "Huh? Bow- oh right. I am him. Uh...give me those two prisoners and no one gets roasted!" Daisy attempted to cross her arms menacingly.

Peach and Toadette pretended to be afraid and shuffled over to Daisy's side slowly.

Cosmic Mario furrowed his eyebrows. "Well, I didn't expect you to show up so soon. You know Peach is running around here, right?"

"She is? Don't you worry about-" Daisy stopped as several people were heard running down the halls. The members of Bowser Flag and Boo Circle Jerks came around the corner with all holding weapons mostly made out of their broken instruments.

"There's Bowser! Get him!" Red Boo screamed.

"Seriously?!" Daisy shrieked. She ran out of the castle with Peach and Toadette close by.

 **Meanwhile** …

Mario, Luigi, Toadsworth, Bowser, and Buckenberry were crowded around a computer that Alagold was using to track the location of Peach's call.

"This address is '64 Royal Raceway'," Toadsworth answered.

"I was talking about her IP address. It's...a computer thing. What about her serial number?" Alagold asked.

"Our Princess does on eat dairy products!"

"Serial, not cereal…"

"I don't think any of that matters," Mario spoke up. "Peach has a flip phone because she likes it old school. Just try her actual cell number."

Alagold typed something in. "Ah ha! Got something. That phone was last pings at... 444 Dark Drive, Dark Land."

Bowser started. "That's my castle's address!"

Mario turned his way sharply. "What is she doing in your castle?!"

Bowser backed up. "She can't be! Here, let me prove it. I'm going to call Ludwig." Bowser dialed a number and waited, then he put it on speaker phone.

"Hello? Father?" Ludwig answered wearily.

"Hello? What's wrong with you?"

"They have escaped. The bands are all gon-"

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Listen, Peach isn't there, right?"

"On the contrary father. In fact, she RAN ME OVER IN THE RIOT!"

Bowser dropped his phone in shock. "WHAT?!"

Mario nodded slowly. "I knew you weren't as innocent as you seemed. Get him!"

Bowser dodged away as Mario jumped towards him. Luigi came for him next, but he left the room quickly. Once again, Bowser was sprinting through Peach's Castle halls, but now running out of it.

 **To be continued.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Peach the Punk Princess**

 **Chapter 5**

 **Created: 1/2, 1/3/18**

 **Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo. Any bands parodied to themselves. Lyrics by me.**

 **Author note: It's back! Missed it? Experimenting with the style a bit here.**

* * *

It's dark. Peach isn't even sure where they're heading. All she can do is run.

The wind chills her through the bone. She glances to the right. "Toughette" Toadette is alongside her, barely keeping up with her short stubby legs. Ahead of them are the four rabid band members of "The Mario Clash" at the heels of 'Bowser' who is actually Sarasaland's Princess Daisy in disguise. Behind them? The war cries of two angry punk bands consisting of 'Bowser Flag' and 'Boo Circle Jerks'. The two bands carry makeshift weapons and it would be foolish for Peach to think that they wouldn't use them.

She thought she was well familiar with the life of the misunderstood 'punk'. It meant standing up for yourself not and not letting others define you. People thinking Peach was the perfect proper princess would be wrong. How many other princesses played sports with the toughest, fought like a Smash brother, and survived multiple kidnappings? Peach was 'punk' before she had ever heard of it. Having an interest in a musical career was a bonus.

Her friends and family didn't really understand however. Her father, the Mushroom King, called it 'dangerous people, dangerous music'. Mario was her sweetheart through and through, but he was alternative rock guy. Luigi and the rest didn't mind but kelp a safe distance from her music and culture. Only Daisy and Toadette were different, but what was two friends on the same page out of a whole kingdom?

Tears fall from her eyes. Was this a mistake? Was her father right? She was going to be in big trouble when she got home and that was assuming she made it in one piece. Instantly she thinks of lyrics, part coping mechanism, part motivator. A continuation of what she'd thought of earlier that night while riding the bus:

" _It started out so fun,_

 _Hanging and chatting on the run._

 _Partying, dancing without fright,_

 _One mistake, could be the last night._

 _Grooving, swinging, busting a gut,_

 _Now tired, cold and busted up._

 _No one understands the plight,_

 _Of the 'rebel' Princess taking flight._

 _Forces come together to do me harm_

 _But I will escape and see my hero Mario, hand in arm!"_

Suddenly Peach feels a surge of power as her resolve strengthens. Had she ever lost it while facing Bowser? Then what could a few punks do to her?

"Toadette?" Peach asked.

"H-huh?.." Toadette sighed, about to run out of breath any moment.

Peach grabbed Toadette by the arm, pulling them into a dark passage before anyone noticed. "We have to take a shortcut or something. If we make it home, there's no way any of these guys are going to stand up to Mario and the rest."

Toadette blinked a few times. "What?"

"Yes. That's the only way," Peach said with confidence she didn't even know she had.

Toadette gasped. "But we're so dead meat. What if your dad grounds you?"

Peach wrapped her arms around herself to control her own shivering. "Then what happens happens. I will still always be a punk though. After all, it's not about the cute clothes or music. It's being who you are, but also taking the responsibility for it." Peach peered out onto the dark, rundown Dark Land streets they were just running on. She saw the group running in the distance and still not noticing their absence. Daisy was way ahead and didn't seem to struggle with her lead. With that thought comforting Peach somewhat she turned to Toadette again.

"Let's hit it, 'Toughette'!"

Peach flagged down the nearest cab. The koopa taxi driver slowed down and rolled down the window at the sight of the punks.

"Hey! Take me and 'Punchella' to the Mushroom Kingdom!" 'Toughette' barked. "'Cause we just escaped from Bowser's castle and we mean business!"

The koopa driver nodded nervously. "Okay, okay! Don't hurt me!"

Peach and Toadette smiled at each other slyly. Sometimes being a 'scary' punk didn't have its benefits.

* * *

Bowser was never known as a sprinter but he could high tail if it he wanted to. He growls and roars as he barges past the castle's puny and utterly useless (according to him) Toads inhabiting Peach's abode. There are screams. A siren system Bowser didn't even know about blasts. Mario almost catches up but is slowed down by a statue Bowser pushes in his way. A statue of himself!

And people call Bowser vain... Well sure, he has tons of statues of himself at his castle but he is a King after all and not same lame plumber. _Was Mario even still a plumber these days_? Bowser was getting sidetracked. This is about Peach. That princess was an enigma honestly but she was pretty so she had that going for her and Bowser had to admit is was a little different than most princesses. The whole reason he started hosting concerts was to lure her, and keep Ludwig from complaining. Was she really in his castle? It didn't make sense.

He knocks the castle's front doors off of its hinges. The Koopa King's mind races as he embraces freedom. Soon Bowser is in Toad Toad square, his stamina shot. Bowser leans on a light post for support, the post bending under his girth. He pants as he pulls out his cellphone. Of course he wouldn't waltz into the Mushroom Kingdom without support. He was persistent and maybe a little unimaginative with his plans, but not stupid.

"Mission is bust, Johnson. Pick me up!' Bowser growled into the receiver.

Instantly, the drone of an airship became less and less faint. Bowser looked up and saw his death ship draw near, but not before something else caught his attention.

"Hold it right there!" Mario shouted as the portly plumber ran.

Bowser had nowhere to go and no energy to run, but Mario was alone for some reason. Heh, he could take a lone plumber.

Mario slowed down as he approached. "Bowser?" he asked calmly, "let's talk. Something's not adding up here and I just want to get answers."

Bowser shrugged. "Talk to me mustache. My ride is gonna be here any moment." He tapped his foot impatiently.

Mario smirked as he pulled out a small handheld anchor on a chain, a mythical device capable to stopping even the most powerful airships despite its size and 'made in China' tag on it. "Oh, don't worry about that Koopa. You're going nowhere."

Bowser stomped right up to his face. "What are you trying to do here?! If we're gonna fight, fight!"

"Not yet. Did you really not know Peach was at your castle?"

Bowser stepped back and looked at Mario like he was an idiot. "OF COURSE I DIDN'T. Why would I come to your stinking Kingdom for her then?"

Mario twirled the little anchor around finger as he paced. "Then...how did she get there? She was supposed to be having a night out, but she wouldn't leave her crown would she?" he thought out loud.

"Not my problem, but if Peach is at my place, that's where I'm gonna be. Sayonara-"

Mario's phone made a noise and he fumbled to answer. "Hey, this is from the Princess!"

Bowser rushed over. "What did she say?! Does she like my concert?!"

Mario pushed him away. "Umm. No. She says sorry for everything and to tell her dad not to worry. And...she's on her way home with Toadette and that Daisy should be here soon too but there might be trouble? Hmm.."

Bowser rolled his eyes. "This is stupid. Shouldn't we be fighting now? This isn't that other story where we're secretly friends or something, right?"

 **Bwroooooom**! Bowser's airship arrived, engulfing them both in this massive shadow. A thick rope dropped down before Bowser who quickly grabbed on. He pushed Mario back to the ground hard before he could intervene.

"See ya, Red! Ludwig is a piece of work, but he aint a lier. It'll take more than a fake message to convince me that Peach isn't really at my place."

"Nooo!" Mario sprung up to grab on to Bowser as he raised a few feet from the ground.

"Hey, lay off!" Bowser spat.

"No," Mario replied passionately. "I will _never_ let you go!"

"Well I- hey wait. This IS that frenemy story, isn't it?"

Everything froze and Mario looked at Bowser incredulously. "What in Eldstar are you talking about?"

"Ha! Nevermind. I hope like falling to your demise because...wait, what?" Bowser craned his neck over to the sunset as a large figure appeared.

Mario looked too (while still grasping Bowser closely :3) and saw...another Bowser coming closer. The shock almost made Mario lose his grip. There were two Bowsers?!

* * *

 **To be continued.**

 **Author note: In Mario Strikers, Mario's theme music is actually alt rock. Oh, and oddly enough Daisy's IS Punk music. Looks like there is a canonical 'punk' princess already! Johnson is a stock enemy in Paper Mario games. Peace!**


	6. Chapter 6: Crossroads

**Peach the Punk Princess**

 **Chapter 6: Crossroads**

 **Created: 1/8/18, 1/11/18**

 **Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo. All bands parodied to themselves. Lyrics, if any, to me.**

 **Author note: A return to hilarity as the story heats up. Enjoy.**

* * *

Ludwig Von Koopa, the infamous and Koopa musician buttoned up his black suit after a particularly cool night time breeze swept through. Gathered before him were the Koopalings, all dragged to what was left of Bowser's courtyard stage after the castle staff and soldiers were long cleared. Chairs were turned over, band merchandise littered the floor and, the stage beat up.

"Sooo, Luddy," Iggy the enigmatic genius started, "your plan is what?" He scratched his head in confusion.

Ludwig cleared his throat. "Have you developed icicles in your ears? If I cannot bring real music to this castle at least we can shut the rubbish out!"

"Yah? And, how we gonna do that, huh?" Roy (my boy. No, I digress..) the muscle headed bully challenged.

"Plus, maybe I like some of this music!" Larry the pint sized trouble maker, added.

"Gosh, I don't care what you losers do, just hurry up. It's FREEZING OUT HERE!" Wendy, the bombastic fashionista shouted. She hugged her arms tightly around herself.

Ludwig rolled his eyes. "So again it's agreed-"

"Umm-" Morton the motormouth butted in.

"-No interruptions!...we shall shut down Bowser's concerts forever by…." Ludwig stopped for a whole thirty seconds for maximum dramatic effect. The rest of the koopalings were about to walk away when he said, "By turning the castle courtyard into a NATIONAL PARK!"

Everyone burst out in laughter.

"Luddy, my man!" Iggy laughed. "That's crazy. Like, not so crazy it'll work crazy, but stupid and it'll never work crazy."

Ludwig's face turned red. "What do you mean?!"

"King Dad hates parks first of all," Wendy said, still shivering.

"And you!" Roy teased.

"And he needs music to lure Peach, remember?" said Larry.

"And how are we gonna renovate the land, cultivate the soil that we all know is deadly for commercial use, order recreational stuff so people will wanna be in our park, fill out the right licenses when we all know Bowser cheats on his taxes, hire groundskeepers when we are known for taking prisoners, and locate wild life when we chased all the Dark Land critters away years ago?" Morton asked in one breath.

Ludwig waved his claw dismissively. "Do you not know your elder?! I've done miracles before. Anyone have legitimate objections-"

Lemmy, who had been quietly standing around raised his hand. He was usually a outgoing and eccentric performer but in stressful situations he could shy away from the family business.

"Yes?" Ludwig asked, humoring him.

"Umm. The army and stuff train here and that's kind of important to King Dad and so, yeah this might not work..That's all I had to say..."

Ludwig's self important smile melted away as the realization hit him. "Curses! Our stagnation must have gotten to me. It escaped me that we are even capable of militaristic deeds.."

"So you forgot?" Iggy asked.

"...I would not put it that way, but no matter. We will stop this madness even if I have to tear down the stage myself!"

"Are you overcompensating because Peach tackled you?"

"...I would not put it that way either, but are you with me or not?"

"I don't care, brrrrrr!" Wendy said. "HURRY UP!"

"I guess you can count me in, nerd. King Dad's concerts were fun at first but forcing us to go cuts into my schedule too much. A man needs to work out." Roy showed off a big bicep as if his siblings didn't already know.

"Roy, all you did was mosh. But yeah, he's right. The bands King Dad invite were too mainstream for me and it's not like we've ever successfully brought Peach here. Does she even know we have concerts? Probably not until today. I've heard she's a punk too. I check her Facebook under a fake name."

"Larry, stop drooling. So you will all assist me, correct?"

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Umm-"

"Enough, Morton. It is decided!"

Morton pointed. "But, but.. IT'S BOWSER JUNIOR!"

Ludwig whipped around sharply. Sure enough, the Koopa prince was approaching from the east courtyard entrance, wearing a oversized 'Boo Circle Jerks' t-shirt and dragging his feet. Ludwig felt a wave of panic, though he'd dare not show it. To say that Junior held a monopoly on the affairs of the castle was an understatement. Everyone knew he was fully on board with whatever Bowser said and a fan of the concerts.

Ludwig observed closely. Junior seemed dejected and his shirt had dirt spots and holes in it.

"Hello, junior. Having fun?" Ludwig greeted. The Koopalings behind him stood rigidly, as if awaiting a firing squad.

Junior whimpered a bit, then bawled.

"What's wrong, sugar?" Wendy asked reflexively.

"I hate punks now! I tried to follow them and they pushed and shoved and they were just so mean!"

"Oh, really?" Ludwig questioned, his mind racing with new ideas. "Uh, meeting is adjourned!"

Wendy rushed over to hug Junior and Lemmy joined in, the two of them being Junior's only 'friends'. As everyone else dispersed Ludwig smiled smugly. Bowser's castle was going to get a new reputation as an 'establishment of fine art' whether King Bowser liked it or not!

* * *

Princess Daisy always believed that to get others to like you, you had to like yourself and be whoever you are. Daisy was never 'typical', one way being her strict fitness routine. The other? Being a party girl. She was still took her princess duties seriously, but when off duty Daisy loved the song, the dance, and the atmosphere. She'd go to any kind of concert from country, to jazz, to punk. Anything to distract her from the sometimes dreary castle life. After all, Sarasaland didn't have constant attacks from a Koopa King and heroic plumbers to shake things up. When she'd first heard the neighboring kingdom's Princess Peach had gone 'punk' a few years ago Daisy couldn't believe it. Another princess going against the grain? Fortunately they were friends before that, but a new common interest made them closer.

Daisy respected Peach for being different around those more strict than her Sarasaland folk and would do anything to help her out, including dealing with a bunch of rowdy punks while disguised as Bowser.

'Bowser' reached the top of a hill and gasped at the sight of a Toad Town city limits marker. Daisy had no idea she'd gotten there so quick.

"Hold it right there!" Red Boo of the Boo Circle Jerks barked. The other band members materialized all around 'Bowser'.

"People, please!" Cosmic Mario, leader of The Mario Clash, huffed. He and the rest of his band, a Yoshi, Goomba, and Koopa in Mario uniforms were bent over gasping for air. "The heck is going on here, Bowser man?"

"W-what?" Daisy asked, attention still on the boos surrounding her in a frighteningly literal interpretation of their name. The band consisted of red, dark, big, regular and blindfolded boos. Not even she could take them all on at once, and that wasn't even counting the remaining band she then saw running up in the darkness.

"Bowser *pant* you freak!" Bowser Flag's singer screamed as his three companions accompanied him. Being normal humans they were all soaking in sweat and exhausted, but the simple fact that they managed the several mile long trek from Dark Land to the Mushroom Kingdom without passing out meant they were in shape and dangerous.

Red Boo stuck their tongue out at them. "Back off Bowser Douches, we caught him first!"

"You're missing the point, idiots. We can all kick Bowser's tail," the bassist said, swinging her long black hair back. Daisy noticed that she seemed the least worn out and speculated that she was really fit like her. Not that that was a good thing in this situation…

Red Boo frowned. "But..but..but..."

Bowser's Flag singer shook his head in pity. "You're still all hung up on one upping us. Don't you realize that Bowser has been keeping bands as prisoners for months now? And for the enjoyment of this dirty soldiers and brat kids with no pay? Forget this battle of the band stuff for a moment, Bowser is everything were against and we can't let him go. Besides, us punks stick together!" The rest of his band members nodded in agreement as the Boo Circle Jerks looked guilty. Daisy, though sweating bullets, had to admit she agreed as well. Bowser deserved to pay for repeated kidnap. Problem? She WAS _Bowser_...

"Wait a minute losers," Cosmic Mario spoke up. "Bowser... DOESN'T pay?"

"Of course not!" Bowser Flag's bassist said. "Look at him over there, all jittering and stuff. If I didn't know better, _I'd think this isn't really Bowser_. I mean, he hasn't even spoken yet or attacked. Looks like this will be an easy fight."

"Umm actually," Daisy started, racking her brain for a way out. She never would have guessed what it was. A Bowser Airship flew over everyone, the sound of it drawing their attention.

"He called backup! BAIL!" Red Boo screamed. Instantly he and his shy boo buddies disappeared in panic.

"Ugh. I hate to admit it, but we should go," Bowser Flag's bassist urged the singer while tugging on his flannel shirt.

The guitarist got to his other side. "Uh, huh. Normal cops are bad enough. Who knows what that creep Bowser has in store. "

"But-" Suddenly Bowser Flag's tall drummer, being a man of action rather than words, slung the singer over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Hey! I was gonna leave guys! Ouch!"

"Shut up. The next time a koopa posts an ad up, it's a NO..." Daisy heard the bassist say as the infamous four piece band disappeared in the darkness.

Daisy was about to sigh in relief until she remember that there was one band left. The Mario Clash had been eerily silent since the Airship passed over, but now that they were alone, they closed in on Daisy. All of them, especially Cosmic Mario had malicious grins on their faces.

"Tell me, King Bowser, do you really think you can double cross us?" Cosmic Mario asked, his voice calm and low.

Daisy felt a surge of confidence. She figured she could actually take on this band, especially since they included a common koopa, goomba, and yoshi. Cosmic Mario himself might be an issue, but if she knocked his bandmates heads together enough, he might get the idea. She crossed her arms, intending to tease them and buy time to think of a plan.

"Well?" he continued. "Do you really think so? Cause this is what we do to RATS like you! Show him!"

The Yoshi member pulled out a plunger, not unlike Mario's only this one was covered in spikes. Daisy stifled a laugh. Was that the best they got? Thankfully that unimpressive show gave her enough time to decide what she was going to do.

"I think I can, ha!" Daisy answered in an intentionally hammy way.

Cosmic Mario raised on eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah and…." Daisy hoped her plan would work."...I have! I'm not really Bowser. I'm Daisy and I snuck into Bowser's castle for a concert." She hold off revealing Peach and Toadette, since she wasn't sure if they were safe since they disappeared in the chase.

She expected The Mario Clash to gasp but they remained unshaken. Too unshaken. Almost as if…

Cosmic Mario laughed loudly as his band mates snickered among themselves. "We know you ain't Bowser! We thought you were in the castle and maybe during the chase, but you couldn't be farther from him now. And if you are really Daisy well, ha ha. Even better for us! It's been awhile since we kidnapped a princess!"

Well that went nowhere. Time for plan B.

Daisy slipped between them and headed for the heart of Toad Town. The streets were empty as Daisy assumed the case. The typical Toad Town resident had a proper bedtime. She took a right at the popular and now closed fighting dojo. A left at Club 64. She might have passed the train station twice. All the while, The Mario Clash were on her heels. Then she made way down main Street again. Farther down the path would be Royal Raceway, where Peach's Castle was. As she reached the apex of a hill she almost stumbled from what she saw down the street.

There was the airship hanging in the night sky, but most importantly Mario and Bowser. The REAL Bowser.

Right then Daisy realized that there would be no easy resolve for anyone involved, but she was more concerned for Peach and Toadette, wherever they were right then.

* * *

 **To be continued**.


	7. Chapter 7: Closing Song

**Peach the Punk Princess**

 **Chapter 7: Closing Song**

 **Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo. All bands parodied to themselves. Lyrics, if any, to me.**

* * *

 _-She knew the group from anywhere, figures that could occasionally show up in the back row of a show but never stick around after. They had a demo tape but it wasn't one that Peach could ever play aloud on her home stereo due to the 'controversial' lyrics. The quad of younger guys were somehow even bigger than Bowser Flag and meaner than The Mario Clash and yet-_

 _they were her only hope with the wave approaching…_

* * *

Bowser and Mario both fell from the chain and plummet onto a flower patch on the outskirts of Royal Raceway. The fake Bowser stomp up to both hero and villain only to collapse.

"Oof!...tired….so….hot..." Daisy admitted, face down. Drenched now in buckets of sweat from the foot race from Dark Land to the Mushroom Kingdom, the sneaky parasol finally short out. The Bowser disguise flashed a few times before fading away to reveal Princess Daisy at their feet.

Mario gawked. "What the?!"

Bowser growled with no sentiment. "That ain't who I wanted to see." He noticed a cab coming down the raceway and grin all of a sudden. "Yeah, now that's more like it!"

The cab stop and let two punks out who were actually Peach and Toadette. Peach shot across the yard in a panic while Toadette did the same but back towards the castle.

"I'm too late," Peach cried, dropping to her knees at Daisy's side. "I let them hurt you!"

"Ah-hem!"

Everyone's attention was directed to the raceway again because the vicious 'Mario Clash' band were standing there armed with plungers. The leader Cosmic Mario wore a sadistic smirk that put even Bowser to shame, not that the Koopa King wasn't scowling back with fierceness.

"Hey! Didn't I kidnap you losers?! Why aren't you stuck at my castle like the other bands?!"

Cosmic Mario chuckled dryly. "So you admit what that son of yours was talkin' about. I gotta admit you are an inspiration 'Bowsy'. Kidnapping? The oldest trick in the book yet so effective.."

"I KNOW IT'S GREAT. Why do ya think I keep doing it?" Bowser spat, stepping forward.

"Stop stop!" Peach spread her arms between Bowser and Cosmic Mario.

"Peach?" Mario interjected.

"Just let me say this Mario." Peach paused to get herself together. "Bowser really didn't do anything..this time. I shouldn't have snuck out without telling anyone. I'm sorry for worrying you guys and I've learned my lesson."

Cosmic Mario and his band raised eyebrows.

"-Punk as a subculture is fun but not to be taken lightly. In the end of the day it's filled with real people trying to make it in a cruel world, some good some bad."

"Like us?" Cosmic Mario sharply butt in.

Peach spun to him with a weak smile. "I don't want to call you a bad person. I know about your struggles from your music and it's not fair the way 'baddies' are treated compared to those more privileged. It's not your fault that some of you turn to villainy."

The koopa, goomba, and even yoshi band member nodded and Cosmic Mario was thoughtfully quiet but as usual someone ruined the mood.

"But I ain't poor and I'm a villain!" Bowser remark with some humor in his tone.

"Emotionally you are," Mario reply seriously, nudging him with an elbow.

Red fiery eyes dart to the plumber before realization set in. The tension then drained from Bowser and he became quiet and awkward as Cosmic Mario slowly clapped.

"Know what kid?" he asked with a softened face. "You're alright. I mean, you're young and sitting pretty yet you seem to know the way the world works. You ain't a poser I mean." He cooly dusted his leather jacket off.

"Teehee, thank you. I just read a lot about history and government and, well, you lean a lot about the plight of common people that way."

Cosmic Mario winked. "Keep studying, sweetheart."

Peach was ashamed to admit she was blushing and the clone was sort of cute all over again like the entire episode hadn't happened. Thankfully, Mario was still right behind her to shut anything down before it began.

"See you guys later," the hero said, artificially cordial. Mario's attention wasn't going to leave the punk group until they were over the horizon but before anyone could move a bright light was flashed on the backs of Mario, Peach, and Bowser.

"Over there!" Luigi shout atop a hill. The green plumber rushed down with the entire cavalry! The Mushroom King, Toadsworth, Buckenberry, Alagold, a few other toads from the castle and finally Toadette holding a flaming torch stormed down causing the band members of Cosmic Mario to shriek and run while the clone himself stared wide eyed before liquefying into a blue matter that sunk into the grass without a trace.

Just then Daisy's eyes fluttered just as many feet stomp by her from the group. They stop and pant while looking around.

"I think we scared them, bro. We did it!" Luigi proudly told Mario. Mario only shrug and pat him on the back, not knowing what else to say. He guessed they did do 'it', whatever it was.

"What I miss?" Daisy groggily ask.

Luigi help her up and supported her. "We ran off the horrible punks, except for Bowser, but he's not a punk."

"He is a menace though. Ya!" Buckenberry slung a very small butterfly net over Bowser's head that didn't fit. Bowser glared and flicked him off like a flea.

Meanwhile father reunited with daughter. "I was so worried I wouldn't see you again." The King pulled the blonde close for a hug. Peach was embarrassed for a moment only, this was long day and she wished to see her bed soon. Her eyes were closed and her head tucked up against her father's thick majestic robe with she heard the gasps of many.

"Heheheheheheh!" cackle a multitude of dark red miniature cosmic mario clones raising from the ground like a horror show come true. They scatter among the startled crowd attempting to run into anyone and then explode on impact with a red mist. Most toads were knocked out quickly. Mario and Luigi knew the extraterrestrial threat well but they weren't prepared for an infinity spawning pack who could copy movements so perfectly. Mario got caught, then Luigi. Peach scream in horror when her own father was tagged next in front of her. An arm turned her around firmly and she was then staring at her friend.

"Get outta here, sister," Daisy said, nodding at Bowser for some reason.

"What flower chick said. Save ya self. The ships on auto." And then Bowser hauled Peach high into the air before she could react. There was a chain and an airship above that had just swept through. She grab the chain and was brought higher into the sky and away from her front yard and the chaos. Panic set in again, where was this unmanned sky vessel actually taking her? It seemed to dip a bit once they were in Toad Town so the princess saw her chance and let go. She fell into a soft pile of leaves on the side of the street. The airship kept going downward and crash into a shop a block away with an explosion. She shield her eyes from the flames, heart racing but safe.

Peach took about ten or so numb steps away from the disaster before she saw a group at the bus stop with luggage. A group of punks. One, a tall hammer bro, noticed her.

"Hey girl. You a local?"

Peach nodded cautiously.

"Do you know when the next bus to Dark Land's coming? We saw an ad-"

"Don't do that! It's a trap, Bowser kidnaps bands!"

Another member, a boom boom with glasses laughed it off. "We know. Don't you know who we are?"

Peach was about to say something else before she saw the worse thing possible down the street. The cosmic clones had caught up. "Watch out!"

The band however took a look at the horde and drop their bags and gear. A string or so might have popped but it didn't matter.

"Let's treat em like we do all 'Bowser punks'," the Piranha plant member said in a distinctively raspy tone. Peach did know these people. _The Dead Koopas._ Infamously hardcore. Infamously political. Infamously anti-Bowser. And judging by them quickly grabbing their guitars and three piece drum set she was about to finally hear their song that she dare not play at home.

"1, 2, 3," the singer said unfettered with the clones mere yards away.

" _Punk ain't no videogame cult_

 _Punk means thinking for yourself_

 _You ain't hardcore because you wish you were Bowser_

 _When a scared little toad lives inside your head_

 _Bowser punks_

 _Bowser punks_

 _Bowser punks screw off!"_

Peach meant to run but became mesmerized. The sound of their ruckus was like a wave rolling through the clone army reducing them all to motionless screaming forms covering their ears before poofing out of existence. Her ears stung by the rawness and passion of the acoustic version of the hit song, or maybe they just sounded kind of bad. Either way her fears could ebb away.. and also she had a headache.

The band stop playing. "Where'd they go? Oh well. This how how most of our concerts go..."

* * *

Peach woke up in her own room and bed. Everything was in place, her posters, the stereo, and crown on the dresser. The closed blinds were completely dark so she must have woken up early morning. Cutting on a little lamp, she reach for something to read. The punk fanzine was tempting on the nightstand but there was also a slightly dusty but thick world history book. She decided that, maybe she was in the mood for that and would continue to be for some time. Tomorrow she'd explain to friends and family that, while a punk at heart, she'd slow down a bit with it and explore other things in life…

Meanwhile Bowser was soon at his own castle beaten down by a clone or two or three or several but still determined to bounce back as always, even if that mean revisiting the same idea with a new gimmick tacked on. The Koopa King's stride slowed and he became perplexed as he approached the castle's courtyard and found Ludwig and Junior guarding the entrance with a red velvet ribbon across. There was even a 'please wait here' sign.

"This is the new entrance for the Dark Land History Museum, Vater," the blue haired prince explain after yawning.

Junior nodded eagerly. "And no meanie punk bands!"

Bowser said nothing and stomp inside, taking a gander at how they'd taken the normally empty field meant for military training and scattered a few paintings and sculptures around with a gravel path linking the 'exhibits'. He could dig it though, in fact he liked it!

"What are you thinking dad?" Junior asked, walking along side him.

Bowser spun dramatically to Ludwig who was still at the entrance. "You're a freaking genius. The Princess does had a second hobby about this stuff."

Ludwig did a double take. "Uh what- I mean… Yes, vater. I am! I have more art shipping in tomorrow and the entire layout meticulously planned. It is perfect because I am perfect. Bwa ha ha ha!" the koopaling laughed maniacally until some thunder boomed and a drops of rain drip on to his head and roll down onto his nice suit. The genius had forgotten one little thing. The courtyard didn't have a roof.

* * *

 **The END**

 **Author note: So.. not really a book end, more of a hook for the adventures to continue off-screen. Thanks for reading.**

Created: (drafts)3/6/39, (digital) 3/9/19, 3/10


End file.
